I must be stupid

So the first releationship i find in a year and a half is over. In less than 3 weeks from the beginning of us seeing one another, Olivia has said she dosnt want a releationship. Now only a week before she was all over me, kissing stroking, and various other things in wild abandon to me. We spent 3 months learning about each other over Skype, countless nights wishing we were with one another and then poof, its all over kids. Why? Honestly why the fuck did this happen?  I must have been so stupid. Because I thought I could win her back only to come home last night, to see her laid up on my room mate. And my god was I angry. I nearly lost it. Actually I did loose it. So much rage growing within me I couldnt believe it. Hurt, betrayl, shame…..I had no idea what was going on. She acted as if she had done nothing wrong. How? What can I say? The first girl i say I love you to in a year and a half……gone. Because SHE some how dosent care about me ………WHAT THE FUCK! This has been a horrendous week people.

Its been a while

Well kids its been a while and Much has changed in my life in only a few short months. Im surprised how much things have changed to be honest. Ive quit my old job  at the mother of all bad restaurants, Zaxbys. No its not that bad but honestly it was not the best place for me to spend my time.  Ive gained a wonderful new woman in my life. Olivia is her name, and she has been quite a shock to the system. Ive had to remeber what its like to be with a person and care about them, (Nearly 2 years remeber here kids, ok year and a half). But also I see tendancies in her that remind me of the past, which dosent mean anything, other than i might be paranoid. But she also is very caring and sweet as hell! Very loving and a good sparrer to my sense of humor.  Also I am beginning my “real” senior year here at Clemson University. Starting out the senior studios in Drawing and I hope to really have a good year to get some amazing work done. But also I question my future as always.  Anyways Ill go because its 12 30 now and Im rather tired.  Night